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Buy a Box of Wild Rocks
Unlike most other things on this site, this item for sale is for real! So is the companion guide. Everything else in this site is for entertainment purposes only.
You think you can handle these guys?
These aren't those cute little tame rocks you find in your yard, these guys are WILD! You can only obtain truly wild rocks from remote places like the top of Mt Everest, the heart of the Amazon Jungle, the barren wasteland of Siberia, the bottom skirt of tornado prone trailer parks and the heart of the Amish Farmland. I live in the last, my name is Alex 'The Rock Whisperer' Willis and I wrote the book on wild rocks...literally.
So what is all the hype? Why should I slam down some of my hard earned dough for a bunch of rocks? I'm surprised you even have to ask. People have dreamed of owning Lions and Tigers and Bears, but they'd rip you apart, these wild guys will do very little damage to you, yet you still get to own and tend to a wild critter. I have wrestled wild rocks nearly an 1/8 my size. I climbed to the top of one of the really small Rocky Mountains and confronted a wild rock named Jagged Side and managed to topple him over. I have captured and tamed some of the most insane rocks in existence. By some I mean just the few that I actually did, but by definition 'some' sounds good.
I wrote a book about it, well actually two. There is a little tiny book you get with your rocks that tells you why its awesome to own some of these. It gives you insight as to why Rock beats both Paper and Scissors. If that's not enough, I also have a companion guide that educates you more on the history, care and feeding of your rocks. I also include a few training techniques and games you can play with them. As a scientist of sorts, I also include scientific observation pages so you can really get down and study the moods and nuances of your rock when affected by stimuli. Read one of my observations below. And if that weren't enough, your rock comes to you completely naked! However, it is not in good taste to take them out without clothing...viola, the companion guide includes some clothing cutouts to put on your rock! The companion guide is sold separately, but a worthy investment nonetheless.
Ready to buy a box of rocks?
$9.00 + Shipping
Got a box but need the guide? No problem, pick one of those up here:
$12.95 + shipping
ISBN: 1453791213
Coming Soon, like in a week or so: PUNK ROCKS!
It was just a matter of time before we went this far! Indeed they have colored mohawks, crazy eyes, safety pins and radiculous tattoos! Check back or email to reserve your Punk Rock today!!